The florist brought the wrong bouquet, the best man is tipsy, and your Great-Aunt Tessie is rearranging all the place cards on the dining tables.

Worse yet your future husband is more concerned about following his favorite NBA team’s play-by-play than comforting you during your meltdown, on what is supposed to be the biggest day of both your lives.

No wonder you’re asking yourself: “Is this marriage a mistake?”

“No, it’s not,” says John Gray, the best-selling relationship expert whose newest book is Why Mars and Venus Collide [Harper, January 2008]. “During every step of a relationship, one or the other partner experiences doubts. So it’s natural to second-guess yourself, even as you’re walking down the aisle.”

To avoid the urge to vault out the door with train in tow, Gray suggests following these five sure-fire tips for wedding day bliss:

1. Expect some tension—and go with the flow.
“The biggest mistake you can make is to think that you shouldn’t be having doubts, just because it’s your wedding day,” explains Gray. “Whether the source is the caterer, your future mother-in-law, or even the weather, the reality is that no event goes off without a hitch. What you can control, though, is your own frame of mind. If you can’t laugh it off, you can at least smile and go with the unanticipated bumps in the road.”

2. It’s your day, so own it.
“On ‘Venus,’ a bride’s wedding day is her Super Bowl. It’s the once-in-a-lifetime experience she’s dreamed about all her life. Everything should go the way she wants it—despite the best intentions of anyone else. The last thing a bride should have to do on her wedding day is to make a sacrifice. You’re the only one who counts, so don’t try to make everyone else happy.”

To get everyone in sync Gray suggests that the bride prepare a short-but-sweet mantra that gets the point across. “It should go something like this: ‘Thanks for your suggestion. And on another day, I may consider it. However, I get only one wedding day, and I’d like to do it my way.’”

3. Delegate any and all disasters.
“Remember,” says Gray, “your friends and family are your support system. What they want most is your happiness, so don’t be afraid to enlist the right person for the job. Even Dad looks forward to being his little girl’s knight in shining.”

4. Make room for your groom.
“In most cases, a groom recognizes his wedding day as his bride’s day to shine, and he abdicates the majority—if not all—of the Big Day’s decisions to her,” explains John. “That said, if you need him to put out a fire, just ask. Remember: no one wants to see you happier on your wedding day than your guy.”

But what should a bride do if she finds herself up against an overbearing groomzilla?

Gray suggests she be gentle with him, but firm. “The amount of time and energy and money put toward the wedding ceremony is bound to wear on him, too, and may erupt in some irrational behavior. If so, she should say this: “Listen, sweetheart: I’ve dreamed about this day all my life. I will yield on other days—but not today. Thanks for understanding what this means to me.”

5. Remember why you’re there: to make a memory.
“Step back and remember why you’re getting married in the first place: Because you love each other,” says Gray. “This is one of the most memorable events of your life, so treasure every part of this special day.”