Amy vs. John

My Best Friend Wants To Set Me Up With Her Fat Brother--Do I Have To Say Yes?

Q: IS IT RUDE TO REJECT MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER?

Dear Amy vs. John: I love my best friend (let's call her "Suzy") to death. We met in college; our kids are friends; we work together; and she really helped me through my terrible divorce three years ago. Recently, I was complaining to her about all the jerks I've been dating, when she suddenly blurts out, "Oh my God!! I've got the best idea; my big brother Ed's single again--I'm setting you guys up." Before I knew it, Ed was calling me, leaving annoying messages. Ed's not my type. In fact, he looks dirty and he's very overweight. What should I say to "Suzy"?

(submitted by Pinkie summarized above)

Continue reading "Find Me a Different Man!" »

When Amy catches John not listening to her, he has to fork over 20 bucks!

AMY RULE--EACH TIME I CATCH JOHN NOT LISTENING TO ME, HE HAS TO GIVE ME $20.

It's infuriating--and even worse--it's such a dumb relationship stereotype.

(I've seen tons of stupid beer commercials making light of the fact that men rarely listen when their wives speak, which by the way, is both rude and sexist!)

Unfortunately it still happens though--at least in this bogus marriage. Here's a sample incident:

Continue reading "Listen Or Pay Up! " »

Having sex with your husband--as your mother-in-law sleeps in the next room--can feel a little...wrong!

Q: Dear Amy vs. John: My mother-in-law visits us approx. 5-7 times a year from Ohio (usually staying for just a few days, but sometimes up to a week or so). Luckily, we all get along great, and she has her own guestroom and bathroom. Everyone's pretty comfortable--until the lights go out. My husband is such a pervert! He gets more sex-crazed than ever when his mom's in the next room. The more I say, "Are you nuts?!--your mother will hear us!" the more he gets turned on. Sometimes I give in, but I'm always so embarrassed during breakfast. Help?!

(submitted by Randi summarized above)

Continue reading "Sexual Dilemma" »

OK, ladies, I know what you're thinking: "Yuck! It's too hot, and by-the-way--I am NOT, I REPEAT, NOT ready to be seen in a bathing suit this summer. So showing skin is out of the question altogether."

I know you're tired, sweaty and cranky; and the last thing you're thinking about is love and/or sex. Maybe you have kids, and the thought of them being at home all day, searching for something to do (and eat!) is making you dread "summer vacation."

Continue reading "Three Simple Ways To Get Hot And Bothered This Summer!" »

Q: Is it wrong to accept concert tickets from a male co-worker?

I'm 24, and I work in an office with a single guy (who looks 40ish) who's constantly offering me "free" tickets to plays, concerts, comedy shows and even the ballet. I don't know where he gets them, but he always says, "My friend had to cancel last-minute...go ahead, take them; they're FREE...invite anyone you want." I usually refuse because I feel weird about it, but he just offered me Bon Jovi tickets and my live-in boyfriend really wants me to accept, and take him, but is that a bad idea?

Continue reading ""Free" Tickets Always Have Strings Attached" »

How can we have a movie date night, when we never want to see the same movie?

AMY: My husband John loves movies, very bad ones. When we see previews, I always know exactly what sparks his interest: car chases, spaceships, explosions, fart jokes, monsters, wizards, disasters, dragons, submarines, robots, military espionage etc. You get the picture--dumb crap.

Continue reading "I'll see your dumb movies, if you'll see mine" »

Q:How can I convince my girlfriend to dress better without hurting her feelings? I want her to dress more conservatively, but I don't know how to tell her. I met Jill a few months ago at my friend's barbecue, and she was dressed so normal: denim overalls and sneakers. Since then, we've been on six dates and each time she's dressed so slutty: too low-cut tight tops, short skirts and trampy high heels. We bumped into some of my buddies, and they joked that she dresses like a stripper. She's not "easy," and I really like her; so what should I say?

(Submitted by TT, summarized above)

Continue reading "My Girlfriend's Not A Slut--She Just Dresses Like One" »

JOHN:  I feel that I must defend myself against the slander, lies, and hypocrisy treacherously printed in my wife Amy's last blog entry.  I'm referring specifically to her charge that, the longer she's married, the fewer nice gifts, dinners and compliments she receives. I will address these one at a time:

Continue reading "Frustrated Husband Responds!!!" »

I Had A Drink With An Ex At The Airport; Does My Boyfriend Need To Know?

Q: DEAR AMY & JOHN: I'm 27 and living with a sweet, smart guy named Phil. The only problem: he's extremely jealous. So a couple of months ago, at the airport, I bumped into an old flame from college. (He still looked amazing, and surprisingly, he's still single.) I don't know why, but I never mentioned that I'm living with my boyfriend. Both our flights were delayed, so we had drinks together at the airport bar. It was nice, but no sparks whatsoever. We politely exchanged business cards, and he e-mailed me once since to say it was nice to catch up. I deleted it, and threw away the business card before Phil could find it. Since we live on different coasts, and nothing happened, I never told Phil because he'd still freak out. So do I still need to tell Phil about this? I'd rather just forget about it.

Continue reading "Does Phil Need To Be Filled-In?" »

AMY:  The other night, John splurged on dinner at a semi-decent restaurant, which seems to happen less and less now that we're "happily" married. (This is exactly why I wanted to stay engaged forever; it's the ideal arrangement.)

In fact, maybe I should start making a big chart and I'd surely discover that, the longer I've been married, the fewer nice gifts, dinners and compliments I get. The opposite should be true, right?

Continue reading "Wife Seeking Boyfriend For Traditional Courtship" »